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Darwenism

by The Benefit Cheats

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1.
Shit Gibbon 03:22
Humpty Trumpty’s sat on his wall Dreaming about ending us all He’s possibly got more than one ball But that’s probably fake news Like the bunker scene in Downfall His hands are quite unnaturally small He doesn’t like the Muslims at all And he's not that keen on Jews Heil Donald Duck You vile orange fuck You’re a fascist loofa faced Shit gibbon Water boarding isn’t severe He don’t want Syrians coming here His VP thinks you’re sick if you’re queer But that just might be alt fact A semi fan of Saddam Hussein He thinks he’s got a ‘very good brain’ And even though he’s clearly insane He’s the one the rednecks backed Heil Donald Duck You vile orange fuck You’re a fascist loofa faced Shit gibbon Heil Donald Duck You vile orange fuck You’re a fascist loofa faced Shit gibbon (Grab em by the pussy) (Grab em by the pussy) (Grab em by the pussy) Shit gibbon (Grab em by the pussy) (Grab em by the pussy) (Grab em by the pussy) Shit gibbon Trumpty's got a big golden tower The bathroom's got a big golden shower He pays his chamber maids by the hour And that's just to dry the bed He’ll make America proud again He’ll make America safe again He’ll make America hate again He’s got a squirrel on his head Heil Donald Duck You vile orange fuck You’re a fascist loofa faced Shit gibbon Heil Donald Duck You vile orange fuck You’re a fascist loofa faced Shit gibbon (Grab em by the pussy) (Grab em by the pussy) (Grab em by the pussy) Shit gibbon (Grab em by the pussy) (Grab em by the pussy) (Grab em by the pussy) Shit gibbon
2.
M.I.F.D. 03:48
So this looks like it's happening again The history of trying to find a friend I constantly read reputations wrong And watch it fall apart before too long Cornered in my expectation Nobody can do the things I do I employ imagination I can make a nobody of you So this looks like it's over from the start The diagnosis shows an open heart There's nothing there to stop you coming through But that's the very last thing that you'd do I know it's not a revelation Opened up for everyone to see I always wind up in frustration Someone made a nobody of me My imaginary falling down I'm losing all the things I thought I'd found Listen very close you'll hear the sound Of nobody So this looks like it's happening again Exiled five miles closer to the end Stuck inside my super slo mo ride With people flying by on the outside I don't need no explanation Nobody explained it really well And I'm not looking for salvation I just want to step out of this cell My imaginary falling down I'm losing all the things I thought I'd found Listen very close you'll hear the sound Of nobody My imaginary falling down I'm losing all the things I thought I'd found Listen very close you'll hear the sound Of nobody Nobody
3.
7 Times 03:28
There's a black one there's a grey one And 50 shades of blue All hiding under the Metro In shiny Oxford shoes Greyhound track trap faces Cos they've got work to do I don't fancy Napoleon's chances in the charge at Waterloo I don't fancy Napoleon's chances but I just might fancy you Cos I fall in love 7 times a day With girls in leather jackets And slightly scruffy hair Reading battered European novels On the underground train I might not be a rich man Might not wear a suit But I got a leather jacket And a pair of trader boots I got a Cabronita and an '87 Strat They're what I use to fuck with you And there's nothing you can do about that Yeah they're what I use to fuck with you And there's nothing you can do about that And I fall in love 7 times a day With girls in leather jackets And slightly scruffy hair Reading battered European novels On the underground train You might be pushing buttons For the money moving men You might be selling buildings To the riyal and the yuan Or making sure they make things That no one needs to buy But I choose not to live with you And here's the reason why But I choose not to live with you And here's the reason why Cos I fall in love 7 times a day With girls in leather jackets And slightly scruffy hair Reading battered European novels On the underground train Yeah I fall in love 7 times a day With girls in leather jackets And slightly scruffy hair Reading battered European novels On the underground train Reading battered European novels On the underground train Reading battered European novels On the underground train
4.
Darwenism 03:40
I come from down in the valley From I was six til I was sweet sixteen When your back's against the wall If they bring you up at all You can bet your life they bring you up mean We didn't have no airs and graces We didn't have no colour TV's We had bottles and stones And we broke our own bones Chucking rocks and sticks and climbing up trees And the world didn't touch us at all Still waiting for our heads to get small We're a taxanomic magic 8 ball That's Darwenism We had Smez and Smyth on Panorama Preaching monoculturality They had Crombie overcoats And Dr Marten's boots And a whiff of criminality We'd be playing footie on the top field And we see them getting of the bus And they didn't mind at all If they didn't have the ball Cos it meant that they could kick one of us And the world didn't touch us at all Still waiting for our heads to get small We're a taxanomic magic 8 ball That's Darwenism Crummy's dad he sold the papers But the shop on the way to school Sold single number 10's You'd get 2 for 4 pence And we'd smoke them up the backs to look cool Starting Friday night at Peepers Then down The Vulcan for a pint or two We were barely 15 But you could fill up the world With all the things the we thought we knew And the names and the faces have changed But I've watched our children doing the same And none of us are taking the blame For Darwenism We don't care what you think that you've heard About it ain't the smartest place in the world We won't let you say a bad word About Darwenism And the world didn't touch us at all Still waiting for our heads to get small We're a taxanomic magic 8 ball That's Darwenism Oh what mattered to you it never mattered to me Oh what mattered to you it never mattered to me Oh what mattered to you it never mattered to me Oh what mattered to you it never mattered it never mattered it never mattered to me
5.
Glitterball 04:01
You got a spring bishop looking at me You bear scraped my history You’ve been voting in the underpass But I can feel you You glitterballed my second life Sang a birdsong to my wife Soda water crime in a glass But I can see too You’ve got eyes in my London shoes You’re giving me the Bombay blues You’ve got the script for the evening news And your hands down my brand new trews Concrete donkey ringing in my ears You give me airwolf you tube fears You’re Sylvester to my Tweety Pie I lie To cheat you And if you think you’ve seen it all Here’s an uninvited wake up call You just scored two out of five I think we beat you You got information to extreme You’re the soul of the rolling meme I can see you’re warming to your theme But you can’t get inside a dream We might not be what we seem I’m probably not seventeen I think you know what I mean We might give you enough rope The walk on bag’s full of dope It’ll give you an excuse to grope Maybe you and me could elope I don’t live where you think I do I’m not interested in kung fu My favourite colour isn’t blue Least I don’t think so I don’t want to go Honolu lu But my search history says that I do I don’t have a dragonfly tattoo But here’s the photo You’ve got your eyes to the telescope You’re the perfect antidote to hope You’re even pissing off the pope We might give you enough rope The walk on bag’s full of dope It’ll give you an excuse to grope Maybe you and me could elope But you can’t get inside a dream We might not be what we seem I’m probably not seventeen I think you know what I mean I think you know what I mean (rpt ad lib)
6.
Head into the storm My dead feet don't stop shaking, Feelings slide underground My broken head is aching now The day takes hold of me Can't take no more, I live distressed A traffic jam, a bad, bad buzz Anxiety, my broken head I'm here but you can't see it My charming anxiety I'm here and you can feel it My charming anxiety It's all in my breath Tamazepam and Tai Chi moves I tried the remedies The Valium the rotting juice The Hare Krishna claps I need a moment to relax A traffic jam a bad, bad buzz Anxiety, it's on my back I'm here but you can't see it My charming anxiety I'm here and you can feel it My charming anxiety Head into the storm My dead feet don't stop shaking, Feelings slide underground My broken head is aching now I'm here but you can't see it My charming anxiety I'm here and you can feel it My charming anxiety I'm here but you can't see it My charming anxiety I'm here and you can feel it My charming anxiety My charming anxiety rpt
7.
I ain't got anything That you could want I'll empty out my pockets If that's what you want Cos you know and I know We're not the same And you know and I know You're playing your game And I know and you know It's driving me insane And you know and I know We'd do it all again Cos everything I had I gave it all to you And now I ain't got nothing Id that good enough for you Cos you know and I know We're not the same And you know and I know You're playing your game And I know and you know It's driving me insane And you know and I know We'd do it all again I miss the friends that have gone And is it time now for me to move on I can't lose my way and go wrong Cos without you it's hard to carry on So now Neil's gone And Geoff and Westy too I'm standing up here I'm doing this for you Cos you know and I know We're not the same And you know and I know You're playing your game And I know and you know It's driving me insane And you know and I know We'd do it all again Cos you know and I know We're not the same And you know and I know You're playing your game And I know and you know It's driving me insane And you know and I know We'd do it all again
8.
It's time to pop the weasel Or put him in his cage On the quantitive easel Capital's golden age In the new year of the dragon The new dawn of the debt Zombie corporations A billion to one bet The high growth market is a breeze If you can bargain in Chinese What we need are more of these So send your children please We're talking mandatory Mandarin You say yang and I'll say yin Wo men qu ba let's begin Mandatory mandarin Uncle Sam's a sicko And the green backs gonna fall Buddy spare a nickel There ain't enough for us all Tell a billion people This is what they need When they come and get it Something's gotta bleed The more who want the less who've got We cheat and lie and scheme and plot So keep on pissing in the pot They're going to take the lot We're talking mandatory Mandarin You say yang and I'll say yin Wo men qu ba let's begin Mandatory mandarin I only hope we're smarter Than our own fucking phone We've got a beating heart and not just some ring tone It says it's made in China But baby aren't we all From old North Carolina To Berlin and Nepal It's a new world order any day 8 and 32 okay A universal takeaway There's nothing you can say in mandatory Mandarin You say yang and I'll say yin Wo men qu ba let's begin Mandatory mandarin We're talking mandatory Mandarin You say yang and I'll say yin Wo men qu ba let's begin Mandatory mandarin
9.
Jenny Lane 02:41
I'm in love with Jenny Lane Even though she doesn't know me I'm in love with Jenny Lane It's a different kind of story She can't even ignore me Cos she hasn't met me yet I know she'll never bore me It's a foolish foolproof bet I'm in love with Jenny Lane And I know it could be worse She's the girl I hoped would be In this song's second verse She hasn't got a hope in hell Of ever being her She's Chrissie, Tanya, Tina, Kim She's all the girls that never were Oh oh I'm in love with Jenny Lane Oh oh I'm in love with Jenny Lane And it's never been the same Never been the same Never been the same Since I saw her I'm in love with Jenny Lane and her Fender bass guitar Used to have one just like that Til it got nicked from my car Don't have a clue that I exist Perhaps she never will But that don't really matter What matters is that still Oh oh I'm in love with Jenny Lane Oh oh I'm in love with Jenny Lane Oh oh I'm in love with Jenny Lane Oh oh I'm in love with Jenny Lane And it's never been the same Never been the same Never been the same Since I saw her
10.
Soul Trader 03:52
Your heart's in a hole made of black Your mind says there's no turning back Your hands start shaking Your legs start breaking You're going down Did no one mention there's no redemption In this part of town You don't want to find a way out You know what all this is about You pimped your soul for a slice of heaven They gave you hell And no one mentioned the full life sentence Won't serve you well They sold you to the company store Now you're not there anymore Caught inside a prison shell One strike or two on the lutine bell Your heart's in a hole and it's black You're sold and controlled and attacked Your lips are split and your nose is broken You're going down Bobeche the whore on the killing floor You're a corporate clown They sold you to the company store Now you're not there anymore Caught inside a prison shell One strike or two on the lutine bell They sold you to the company store Now you're not there anymore Caught inside a prison shell One strike or two on the lutine bell
11.
You got the houses and the cars and the haute couture A bunch of gold diggers and a pedicure You've hoovered more coke than a knackered Henry You deserve this, is the message you send me But you just got lucky like every other twat Who's written three books bout how to do it like that We're huffing and puffing and we'll blow your house down Cos what goes around is now coming around. You still think everybody's trying to live the dream Your crap constructed bullshititsms make me want to scream Let me make it simple here's a fucking pie If you've already eaten it how can I ? Sure we can all go out and try to make our own Then there's nothing left to make them with you thought free zone You're lounging on the cliff edge sawing at the ground When there's nothing left to stand on we'll be coming around You'll be sitting on your money when the world blows up Drinking fizzy fiction from a diamond cup Face's on fire for the final sup You'll be sitting on your money and it won't mean a fuck You're the poster boy for conspicuous consumption You're the king of the castle you're the mayor of Trumpton You're the M4 services, Cardiff West. You got to dress your children in a bullet proof vest You bought some freedom but you show your chains In the zillion dollar sanctuary of human remains Is your dream still a dream if people die for it? Or is it now and was it then and will it always be shit? You'll be sitting on your money when the world blows up Drinking fizzy fiction from a diamond cup Face's on fire for the final sup You'll be sitting on your money and it won't mean a fuck You'll be sitting on your money when the world blows up Drinking fizzy fiction from a diamond cup Face's on fire for the final sup You'll be sitting on your money and it won't mean a fuck
12.
EDT 02:40
Stand on the right if you like if you might Near the edge of the step and run Run for your life if you like if you might And let go of the handrail son Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution Or you might become part of the escalator death toll Dance on the stairs if you like if you care And glare at the rising throng Stand in a pair two abreast, you're not there And sing this ridiculous song Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution Keep your body off the pile of the escalator death toll Stand on the right if you like if you might And echo the hopeless air Err on the side if you like, you'd be right And pretend that you paid the fare Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution And surprise at the size of the escalator death toll Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution Roll your eyes at the lies of the escalator death toll Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution Exercise extreme caution Or you might become part of the escalator death toll

about

Whats this Darwenism all about then?

Power pop punk rock and roll with a sarcastic edge and the odd laugh out loud moment. Album number 2 picks right up where ITCH left off, just with more of everything.

We’ve been compared to The Clash or Rancid or ‘running the whole punk gamut’. We don’t sound that much like any of that, but the spirit, inspiration and energy of early punk is always lurking under the surface. This record runs from a period of depression, through a joy in recovery, to outright anger at the idiocracy that was happening while in the dark place. Alongside childhood memories and lost friends remembered, Darwenism is that bit more personal for us but not so deep that we ever stopped having fun. We hope you enjoy it. TBC X

credits

released January 7, 2018

Recorded at Skyline Studios, Ashford, Middx
Engineered, Produced (all that shiz) by Jez Larder
Written and Performed by The Benefit Cheats
Guitared on by Irene Halder
Cover photo by Peter Woodhouse Lauber
Studio photo Julie Henry

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The Benefit Cheats Kingston Upon Thames, UK

We're the Cheats, The Benefit Cheats.
Just punk rockers who didn't stop, no scratch that, won't stop, it's an act of will.

Been around some blocks but this our first recording together. Recorded in no time straight into a big old desk it's raw, like we're playing next door.

Enjoy it, if you want. TBC x
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